Taking the First Step(迈出第一步)
Taking the First Step
For some people forgiveness feels impossible because they have no idea how to go about it. The first and most important thing you need to accept is that the act of forgiveness is not going to be
easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing most of us ever have to do.
It seems totally unfair that we should have to forgive when we're the ones who have been hurt. And that's the crux of forgiveness. It seems unfair because it is unfair. Otherwise what would there be to forgive? Forgiveness is about pardoning things that are essentially inexcusable. After all, if something can be excused, it doesn't need forgiving, does it?
The saying "Forgive and forget" may roll off the tongue,but it's as shallow as it is short. For one thing, it's downright impossible. For another, it misses the whole point of forgiveness. The things we most need to forgive in life are the things we can't forget. Rather than sweeping them under the carpet,we need to draw a line under them, deliberately choosing not to count them against the person who did them, and moving on.
That's why, sometimes, the initial act of forgive-ness may seem relatively easy, but dealing with the emotions that follow every time you see that person, or speak to them or just think about them, can be harder to deal with. True forgiveness is not an act, it's a constant emotional confrontation.
And the longer you wait to forgive someone, the harder it becomes. Time really doesn't heal, it just gives the bitterness and resentment longer to eat away at you from inside. If you wait for the "right time" you may never do it.
迈出第一步
对某些人来说，宽恕他人是不可能的，因为他们不懂得如何宽恕。你必须接受的第一件也是最重要的一件事情便是：宽恕他人不是一件容易的事。事实上，宽恕他人也许是我们所做过的所有事情中最难的一件。
受伤害的是我们，但我们却必须宽恕伤害我们的人，这听起来完全不公平。这正是宽恕他人的关键。这听起来不公平，