4.解决他人之间的冲突和争端
In a recent executive coaching survey, CEOs mentioned "conflict-management skills" as their top priority. Being able to help others resolve disputes and conflicting agendas is not just an asset in the C-suite, where leaders have to manage the expectations of a multitude of stakeholders. Even among friends, those who can keep a cool head and balance reason and emotion when arguments threaten to spiral into conflict and hostility, have the respect and admiration of their peers.
在最新的主管指导调查中，总裁把“矛盾解决能力”放在了首位。有能力帮助其他人解决争端和冲突的日程表不仅仅是在最高管理层中有用，领导者要协调股东们的需求。甚至在朋友之间，那些在争议将要发展成矛盾和敌意的时候仍可以保持冷静，平衡理智和情感的人，能得到同伴的尊敬和敬仰。
5. Build relationships and connect with people.
5.和他人建立人际关系
Whether we are individual contributors, startup entrepreneurs or corporate leaders, we need the help of others to accomplish our goals. Being an interesting person helps in building and managing relationships, but the reverse is also true.
不管是个体工作者，创业企业家还是公司领导，我们都需要别人的帮助来完成目标。成为一个有吸引力的人能帮助我们建立、管理人际关系，反过来也一样。
If we actively engage others, by, for example, inviting someone to lunch, involving a co-worker in a project, asking for a favor, offering support, or sincerely inquiring how someone is doing, we not only become visible, we become relevant. That's the foundation of mutually gratifying relationships. Make it a goal to communicate authentically with others and become more interesting to them in the process.
如果我们积极和他人交往，比如邀请别人一起共进午餐，和同事在同个项目中一起工作，请求帮助，提供支持，或是真诚地问问别人在干什么，我们不仅仅会更有存在感，同样会和他们有所关联。这是建立令人满意的人际关系的基础。努力真诚与人交往，在过程中变得更有吸引力。
6. Engage in active listening.
6.积极倾听
Aside from the fact that engaged listening makes us better informed about people and issues, giving someone our full and undivided attention can have a profound effect on their perception of us. Listening attentively is "giving" rather than "taking." Contrast this with the person who primarily keeps the focus on themselves and the difference becomes crystal clear.
积极倾听除了能让我们更好地了解人和事物，全神贯注倾听某人能改观我们在他们心中的印象。积极倾听更多的是“给予”而不是“得到”。和这相对立的是那些把关注点首先放在自己身上的人。这其中差别十分明显。
When we're listened to, we matter. Those who do most of the talking believe they matter. We become more interesting when we listen to others.
当别人倾听我们的时候，我们是最重要的。大部分讲话的人认为他们是最重要的。如果我们能做到倾听他人，我们会变得具有吸引力。
7. Live life and share experiences.
7.享受生命，分享经历
Our experiences and what we choose to share are what make others take an interest in us. People often live vicariously through the adventures of their more socially active peers. It doesn't have to be running with the bulls in Barcelona — we easily become a little more interesting when we discuss experiences of enjoying a meal at an exotic new restaurant, learning a challenging skill like waterskiing or attending opening night at the museum.
我们选择分享的经历和其他内容是能让人感兴趣的东西。人们通常对社交中更为活跃的同伴的冒险经历感同身受。用不着在巴塞罗那参加过奔牛节——我们只要谈一谈关于在一家异国风味的新餐厅的享受过的美食，学习像滑水撬这样的技巧，或者是参加博物馆的开放夜的经历，就能很容易让自己变得更吸引力。
Standing out in a positive way has wide-ranging benefits. These rules are merely a starting point as we manage ourselves to become the most interesting person in the world.
积极生活能带来很多好处。要想变成世界上最具吸引力的人，这些建议只是一个开始。
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